The struggle with bipolar

To live with bipolar means to live with fear, sadness, anger, and guilt.  It means for many to struggle each day.  Hope comes in small battles on many days.

 

you are the easiest target

you are the easiest target

Often the fury of bipolar is turned against the person who least deserves– yourself.

 

For many people with bipolar anger is a daily chronic issue

For many people with bipolar anger is a daily chronic issue

It can be so hard not to feel like exploding.  Sometimes it is not just the bipolar.  It is wondering why you are denied the “normal days” that others seem to easlily have.

 

sometimes it is hard to know who the real you is.Many people live in fear of themselves.  They never know when they are going to “go away.”

9 Responses to “The struggle with bipolar”

  1. cheyenne Says:

    love the pics

  2. Jecie Says:

    i know this well. i’m in it right now and it is taking all my strength to not cut myself again!!

    • Stephanie Says:

      Dont give up… Fight it, itll never go away I did it an could not stop make no since i know but at the time thats the only thing that will make anything go away. I have horrible scaring from it. I fight I still have a blad in my make up bag I just cant give it up. Weird. I get that crazy urge to do it when things fall an I seem to not get back up or im not going to make it dont do it. I have not for a yr. so hard. best wishes

      • hopeworkscommunity Says:

        Stephanie
        Dont give up. thanks for your courage and thanks for sharing

  3. Johnny Says:

    Things are a dominoes effect ,one bad thing after another continues to consume me each and every day. I allways feel bad about myself, ive lost many friends and familly due to my disorder,I sleep as much as i can just so im not in constant pain, and hope that Jesus will take me and i wont have to wake up and endure another days pain and anguish, suicide is allways in my thoughts . I dont see the meaning of existance.my disorder has pushed me further into darkness. I am consumed in fear of what is going to happen bad next, a constant attacks of anxietyand fear.I have got to the point on disbelieving on the human race!! I simply dont trust anyone anymore and really dont like to be around people anymore. I know of all my sibblings that remain living do not even associate themselves with me any more. I know i;m not loved anymore and no one knows that more than me. My racing thoughts and hearing voices makes me know i’m not a normal person. Simply put what would the world miss about me, if i just ended it all, in time my remaining familly and only friend would forget about me eventually as all people do when someone passes on. I truly do want this never ending pain to just go away

  4. Stephanie Says:

    This is very hard for me. I have had this since I was about 11, I went through so much growing up my parents not being there my mother in the army an shipping my brothers an I off always diff places. I have only 3 very good friends that have been there with me no matter what. I had my first child when I was 17 an got married when I was 18 Now i am 23 an split from my husband for 2yrs, he left me for many reasons this being one. I hit bottom really bad I started to drink a lot an that yr in 08 I lost my dad the only man that was there not my real dad but “my dad”. I lost everything I have been fighting an I was not on any meds I thought I was good I wanted to think I was good growing up I was on so many. I lost it really bad One day when my husband told me I had to leave with my 3 girls he is the father an he walked out. After that I hit bottom completly tryed to kill my self I didnt think there was any reason I was not good enough for him he found someone new. Now 2yrs later I have an still am building my slef back up I am on meds an doing ok I have days were really get out of bed what no not happen, I am with someone new an he is great to me an my children, He helps with everything. As he is learning to deal with it to itll never go away. I hate it I cant stand it I want it so bad to go away…Fighting day to day not knowing what to say I dont even like ppl I dont like to go to the store alone, always thinking someone is talking an looking at you. It sucks so bad. Dont give up There is hope I think well Im hopping. Live for you! just you no one else. My kids need me an i need them that keeps me here I know it is very hard but Find something to keep you needed. an Wanted anything. My best wishes

  5. Savannah Frank Says:

    I have lived with bipo;ar since I was two years old, it has been passed down in my family and I feel like all of the words and pictures above. Though I am medicated with 60g’s of Lithium and it still dosen’t help. I go through more then 6 mood swings in three months and it is not helping my highschool graduation. I can’t keep a steady relationship and I think I can achieve more then what my mind allows me to do. At times my mind just shuts down and I have what my mother and I call a “mental shut down” or stress overload which would normally force me to go home and ease my mind. Is there anything I can do to help stableize myself even more. I fear hurting others and myself at times but most of all my boyfriend talks of marriage and in dire fear of losing him. Please any edvice is going to help me alot. I have two shrinks and have already been hospitalized.

  6. manic depressive disorder Says:

    This illness can be a killer to live with which is why having a close family is always a good thing. No one is going to give you more support or be more determined to get you through the highs and lows of bipolar.

  7. Jordy Says:

    I am now 17 but i have had bipolar since i was 12. Ever since I was diagnosed i have struggled to get to school everyday knowing there are so many people there. It all started when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer it was a big struggle knowing what he was going through and not being able to help in anyway cos it was out of my control. Ever since he has been in and out of hospital, the cancer has caused nerve damage in his legs and his kidney’s are failing because of all the pills he takes. Also in the past three years i have watched 6 of my closest friends commit suicide and i didn’t even see it and last year I was going out with a guy and after 3 months he was diagnosed with leukemia which was incredibly hard, He died feb this year and i miss him so much we had been going out for just over a year and we were like best friends and I will never forget him. I survive but knowing all the stuff that i have been through i find it hard to be happy and when someone tells me to smile or laugh i have to fake it otherwise everyone will ask what is wrong and i don’t want to answer cos i see my illness as a weakness and I hate people knowing.

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