Making upset work

Upset is part of life.  How you deal with it has a lot do with what part it plays.  Here are some questions that have helped me.  I hope they help you:

1.  Is what Im upset about really that important???  I often get stuck on things that just dont matter.  I am getting better at redirecting my self and leaving pointless things alone.

2.  Does my sense make any sense??  Am I distorting things??  Am I taking something personal that just isnt personal??  Am I making something a bigger deal than it is??  Am I making assumptions that just dont hold water??  Sometimes things just need to be reframed or seen in different terms.

3.  Even if it is important can I do anything about it??  Acceptance is my hardest thing and the lack of it my greatest source of misery.

4.  Even if I can do something about it is it worth the effort??  Is my solution going to make things harder or worse in the long run??  Many of my greatest problems have been my solutions to other problems.

5.  Am I getting ready to do the wrong thing??  Sometimes I feel like doing things that arent very ethical.  Some pools arent worth swimming in.

6.  If I lose it where can I go for help??  If all I can do is survive how do I survive??

7.  Do I have the skill or ability to do what I want??  To do what I need to do to cope?? How realistic is my plan.

8.  How will I know if it works??  Sometimes I do things to deal with problems without ever really considering how I will know things are actually getting better.

In my experience these are some of the questions that seem to help me.  Some of them Im not very good at.  They are like most tools.  They work best when you use them.


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