Inside/out…. By Linda Drain

Have you ever wondered what it is like to have seizures?

Inside out

No one sees it coming, 
Its warning is silent and unseen

It’s not a noise or vision
It’s a change of perception in me.

I realize I’m present among others
Yet my mind plays tricks on me. 
My eyes get glassy and begin to twitch
While to the worst mode I switch
This can drag on for 
minutes
Staring and frozen in time
Inside I’m screaming to get out of this terrifying body of mine.

If I’m lucky it won’t last 
And I’ll return in no time at all
But every time I go there 
I believe I’ll have my next fall. 
When things turn bad from this point on
prayer no longer works
And all my hope is gone. 
My head bows  and I curl  to fetal position
As muscles will stiffen and Tremors take over 
While electrical charges fire

This goes on for minutes 
And I get closer to death. 
My brain has been fried once again
When I wake I am weary and
ready for sleep

I’m dazed and confused and can hardly think   
The monster has visited again robbing me life
Leading to agitation and headaches along with personal strife.

But my stubborn spirit says get up and keep at it
Because life goes on and I must make up for lost time
The next day is better as recovery begins
I hope I stay in touch with sanity.. 
But Christ has been with me throughout this ordeal
Through seizures He holds me and gives me  zeal.

Linda Drain

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