On change…..

This blog has been going for years now and is approaching 4000 posts. I  spent some time in the last couple of weeks looking back at past years and although much has stayed the same much has also changed.   I’ve changed and to be honest I am not sure I like some of the changes.

I  am not as optimistic as I once was. I once thought if people could be taught the recovery skills they needed and practice those things until they became second nature life would most assuredly get better. I still see truth in that but know now that it is much more complicated than that.

It is not a matter of doing the right 5 things or the right 10 things.   There is no recipe.   There is no if you just try harder or if you practice more or learn something different it will all be okay.   There is no checklist to life.   Doing good things matter but life cannot be cured.   Sometimes it is just hard.    Sometimes it just sucks.   Part of life is joy but part of life is tragedy.

Some things can be changed.   Some things cannot.   Some things can only be survived.   I know many people who try hard,  who have a lot courage and a lot of character who know suffering better than anything. If you have lived and never known tragedy you are way past lucky.

I have learned that challenges are not what gets in the way.   They are the way.   I have learned that how we cope with things is  no more important than how we survive what we can’t cope with.

I  don’t feel nearly as safe as I once did and I have met more and more people who seem to feel the same way.  In the last couple of years personal tragedy has overtaken my life and I  know that is a large part for me.   There are things that for us that could be done by the government that could really make a difference and maybe the hardest thing has been to realize those things may never happen.

I  have become very unhappy and wonder every day if life really can get better when so much sadness and disappointment seems so much a given.

But it is even more than that.  Hatred and anger seem to be so much of what our culture is about.   Our political institutions seem stuck and defined more by division and partisanship than anything.   It is scary and very disheartening.   For some people our government seems more dangerous than any of the foreign enemies we worry about. And I wonder how long problems can go unsolved or even ignored before the  bills become due.   And I wonder if we are already started to pay.

I wish I could still hold on to simple optimism. I  wish hope was easier.   And I really wish unhappiness was not so familiar.  I know writing this blog used to be a lot easier.  I used to write every day and now that seems something I can’t believe I ever did.

I hope good things are ahead and am very grateful to those who continue to read. There are probably many changes yet ahead.   The company has been well appreciated.

Thanks and God bless.


One thought on “On change…..”

  1. Age, my friend, the bringer of experience and knowledge. Descimator of naivete, mirror of mirrors. I’m fighting, too, hoping life doesn’t end in a struggle of hopelessness, since denial is no longer an option.
    We don’t live in the US in a society that encourages us to see in comfort what the ravages of time do to our bodies. Although my mind and spirit are far beyond what I was when I was new, my corporeal being feels like a reality I must come to terms with: it’s not likely to get a whole lot better, and I feel time is running out.
    Sorry, no answers, just questioning when enough is enough. I’m turning into a humanitarian who sees euthanasia for what it can offer: that we loving offer dear pets as an option, not to be wished for, but humanitarian nonetheless.
    But tomorrow may be a better day. God, I hope so

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