Survive Hurt… Notes to myself

Life sometimes hurts.  Sometimes it hurts a lot.  For some people it seems like it hurts much more often than not.  And sometimes it seems to matter little what you do.

Survive hurt.  It doesnt mean it stops hurting.  It means that it doesnt control.  And maybe it is time by time but this time it doesnt control.

What can you do??  How do you survive??  Here is what I am learning:

1.  Acknowledge it.  Dont try to solve it with outrage.  Blame doesnt make it better.  It is a bandaid at best and not a good one.  Change it from a but to an and.  Instead of “things were okay but then this happened” make it “things were okay and then this happened.”  Focus on “what next” and not “why me.”

2.  Sometimes things remind you of the injury.  It can be people, places, situations.  Know your triggers.  Avoid what you can avoid.  Cope with what you cant avoid.  Recover from what you cant cope with.

3.  Know somebody it is okay to feel bad around.  Somebody you dont have to explain to or justify.  Someone who likes you when you think you are not very likeable.

4.  Know it ends.  It is not everywhere and all times.  Dont forget you have other feelings.  It is real easy to do that.

5.  Make positive events a given in your day.  Define your day by what you look forward to and not what you dread.  Dont hope to do it.  Do it on purpose.  Schedule smiles.

6.  Know that battles are not wars.  Sometimes nothing helps.  Try again tomorrow.  It is not about winning and losing.  It is about surviving today and taking what I have learned today and making it easier tomorrow.

7.  Small steps are steps.  Dont forget.  If something is not quite what you hope treasure what it is.  Dont tear yourself up.

8.  The best revenge on someone who injured you or a situation that victimized you is to live well.  Something to remember.  Sometimes it might help.

9.  The world is full of people who have survived the worst, most painful, most unjust injuries.  You have already survived injury.  You can survive.  You can move past.  You will.

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