I seek not to fix a broken life, either of my own or of others, but to find a better life. My message is simple. Better life is possible.
The measure of everything is does it help?
Everything does one of three things:
- It helps
- It hurts
- It doesn’t matter
Some things don’t matter. I have gotten the best and most sincere advice from well meaning people about what I should do or what I need to realize. Much of the time it is someone telling me that things are not nearly as hard as I think they are or that I really don’t realize what is happening. They believe in magic potions. Sometimes their potions have several steps and sometimes there is a book to read but always there is the assurance that if I just follow directions and I really want it to work out it will. My experience is that I am not a cookie and directions on how to cut a cookie rarely do me much good.
Some things hurt. Things that tell me “I am nothing but…” Things that tell me that I am not a person like other people. Things that tell me that the key to doing better is to realize what is wrong and that what is right really doesn’t matter. Things that tell me life is not supposed to be hard if you do it right. Things that tell me the key is what others do to me, instead of what they do with me. Things that tell me that what I know about me doesn’t really matter. Things that tell me that hope should never get in the way of realizing what can never change. Things that tell me the verdict on my life is in and I am serving the sentence. Things that tell me being helped means being helpless and dependent and failure is sure if I try to stand for myself. Things that tell me not to worry about consequences and side effects that doctors know everything about everything they do and they would tell you if they didn’t. Things that tell me I cant matter to other people and what I get from them I really don’t deserve. Things that tell me bad things don’t happen to good people. And things finally that tell me that I deserve less, am worth less, or must in some way be guilty or the bad things that have happened to me wouldn’t have happened.
Some things help. Things that tell me courage matters and I have it. Things that tell me how to learn to do the things that make life better. Things that tell me I can learn and support me in the learning. Things that tell me other people have made it. Things that tell me the things that are important to me are important because I am important. Things that tell me I make mistakes but am not a mistake. Things that tell me I am not a collection of the things people think I have and that I am more than the sum of the pieces others would cut me into. Things that tell me other people can care for me. Things that tell me I can care for them. Things that tell me I can find a success that matters to me. Things that tell me I have a meaning and purpose past surviving this day or the next day or the day after that. Things that tell me a little better is still better and small steps are still steps. Things that tell me I can decide and should decide and what I decide is the vote in the end that really matters.
I am not broken and neither are you. My life is not some kind of destiny imposed on me by circumstances beyond my control. It is not a sentence or punishment for my birth. Neither is it for you. Life is story each of tell and that story matters and is yet to be told.
May this be a better day for you and may the betterness of this day help plant the seeds of many better and better days to come.