Seizures- My Experience
The spirit has occupied my mind again,
It’s telling me I’m some place I’m not.
My thoughts are fragmented,
My concentration broken,
But I keep pressing on
I hear conversation but it’s not sinking in.
I hear talking only as noise in my head.
I stare at whatever or whoever is there.
Not meaning to be rude, I’m just off somewhere.
My eyes flutter quickly now
Their rhythm so fast,
It’s one more distraction
I just want it to quit.
I try to keep talking or busy somehow
I tell myself to keep on.
Often I ask myself “Why is this happening? When will it stop?”
But I know I already know.
If I’m smart I sit down
When I’m stubborn Ill fall.
Sometimes faith gets me nothing at all.
My body starts trembling
My arms and legs first,
I can’t fight any longer
I have to give in.
Then the whole thing goes wacko and I fall to the ground.
The whole world around me takes on a new spin,
Sparks fly fast as lightning
My body convulses and twists.
I am no longer conscious,
My headache begins
If it’s a few minutes it’s a” short” one,
But if it’s “status epilepticus”
I’m not so lucky.
Then my body keeps seizing
The spirit has won,
I’m off to the E.R. before my life here is done.
When I awake from the takeover
I’m confused and exhausted
My body needs asleep and renewal.
It can take several hours or days if they cluster,
They cause me much wear and tear.
I know this is not normal
I did not cause it to happen
What life’s like without them I don’t know.
So I take up this cross which I was given at birth
Til I see my Savior and am well.