The last weeks have been difficult weeks for me. They have been difficult weeks on this blog. Insure Tennessee is going to fail and it has been difficult for me to get past the tragedy of that. Rage seems uncomfortably close to the surface. It seems to lurk in everything I do.
It has been difficult to write about mental health. Right now there are probably 15 posts laying there half done. In the end they will write themselves if I am patient though. At least I hope so. But it is far more than difficulty about a blog. It is about who we are and what this country is becoming.
This is a difficult time in this country. Maybe the most difficult time in a long time. I am angry. I am scared. The political system seems more fiction than a movie. Things hard to believe are more and more real. Chaos and disorder seem to have taken root and stability has been turned on its ear.
I think the cumulative effect of Trump and Cruz and the Republican circus has been to turn racism and hatred into competitive sport and election events into pep rallies to cheer on bullies who promise to not “take no more shit…..”
It all sounds spookier and spookier and more and more like a bad dream that seems immune to waking up. 8 years ago the Republicans found they had a black president to blame everything on and words and accusations that once would have been unthinkable are now common place and ordinary. They made hatred into a political explanation complete with is own television network. Trump has just took the lid off and stirred vigorously. The GOP was Dr. Frankenstein and Trump had let the monster out into the world.
Trump has become the lightening rod for people who think the problem with the world is people not like them and if you smack them around enough things will be better. I think he promises an America where being different is dangerous. If you are poor, if you have the “wrong” color or the “wrong” faith or the “wrong” label Trump will give you reason to fear the next knock on the door.
Watching all this is like watching a car wreck. You feel powerless and unable to turn away.
You hope there are brakes somewhere along the line but after awhile you lose faith and wonder if the crash is inevitable.