“Never believe a prediction that doesn’t empower you”…. The importance of not yet

I purely by luck found these three videos tonight. I was familiar with the one by Carol Dweck. The others were new. If you only listen to one thing I say tonight I hope it is this. Listen to these videos. Apply what is said to your experience of life and see what space it takes you to. You will not regret the time.

Do you ever feel like life is immutable and that you are what you are? Do you ever feel like the difficulty of your life is a judgement on your character? Do you ever feel like you are just not enough and trying to find more is pointless, that hope is more mirage than real? Do you ever feel like the only real choices in your life are rather you scream or cry?

I do sometimes. The last days have been really hard on me. Some things key to me have been badly battered.

I am an extremely resilient character. It has literally been life saving in the last couple of years. I know I can bounce back… I even know I will…. Right now more than anything else I am struggling with wanting to.

Events talked about frequently on this blog dropped Linda and I into Wonderland with Alice over 3 years ago and I fear I will never leave. The abortion of health care reform in Tennessee in the last week has left me with an abiding grief and sorrow and when all kind of rational things tell me I need to accept it and go on my heart just hasn’t said goodbye yet. No one has stopped fighting but some people I know can’t wait any longer. The grief at what has happened and rage at what looks like is following probably make me a miserable person to be around right now. For me, Insure Tennessee was a door out of Wonderland and I just don’t know when the next one will come along.

These videos hit me between the eyes. There is no point in trying to recount what is said. They say it much better than I ever could.

I do want though to share a couple of ideas I heard in them though. Some of them are close to other things I have written but they are all worth hearing again.

Never believe a prediction that doesn’t empower you. The verdict on your life is not written. Saying that things are hard, that much is difficult is not the same as saying you must settle for things as they are. Anybody who tells you for one hundred percent they know you can’t is trying to hurt you, to control you and is ultimately a toxin you are better off without. Life is change and anyone who tells you it isn’t is trying to sell you something else other than life.

You are not wed to your current capabilities. The research, the facts, the personal experience of thousands and millions of people all say the same thing. We learn and a lot of what you learn depends on whether or not you think you can learn. Anyone who tells you they know how much you can learn or what you can learn lies. They don’t. The hand you are dealt need not be the only cards you play. Experience, the lessons of life matter, if we expect them to and embrace them.

You are not your condition. You are not “what you got”, what you are called or the things that other people say describe you. You are not deficient in what it means to be human. Your life is not a symptom. The things that are important to all human beings are important to you. Your passions, your dreams, your values, you ideas, who and what you love and who loves you all matter because you matter.

Life is to be lived and some things just simply are “not yet.” Life is steps, it is not product but process. Life is as much about getting there as being there and knowing that something that I treasure, something I want to be so is simply “not yet” can often help to keep me trying. “Not yet” betrays a belief in learning, in empowerment and in hope. It is a phrase all of us need to know more often.

The videos are rich. This only scratches the surface of what is to be found.

The pain for me is real. Much is “not yet.” Wonderland is real and we owe much to do many that have supported us, listened to us, and encouraged us. Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps there is a real door yet to come. Sometimes I think knowing that you matter and that it matters that you matter is the hardest treasure to hold onto.

Thanks for listening. Keep us in your prayers. You will be in ours.

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