A 4:30 song…… A 4:30 prayer

Middle of the night posts seldom go well and I hope this will be different but sleep is not there tonight and this is my song…. this is my prayer….. for Linda…

When you read this, when you hear this song I hope you will stop and say a small prayer for her…

She prays to feel good again but does not remember the last good day. Walking is harder now…. the pain in her feet is steadily worse. Neuropathy is out of control now. The last 3 or 4 weeks have been a lot worse. It is a new place, a new space. Right now it seems where we will live.

In a person of lesser grace it would be a place to give up but Linda does not know that. We still go. Sometimes late at night I wonder how but then I know we just will. Courage is a real thing and in the courage for small things is at its most real.

The headaches came about 2 months ago and have yet to leave. They wake up with her in the morning and sleep with her night. I asked her yesterday how bad on a scale of 1-10 they were and she said it was a better day… She was a 7.

We don’t know why. Seizures are part of the problem. They come after every seizure now and lately there have been a lot of seizures to come after. But other things are going on to….. Scarier than seizures and we still wait to know for sure.

I know God has children for she is a child of his. I simply marvel at the strength of her assurance and the joy she tries to share with others. I marvel at her open heart and gracious spirit.

The death of Insure Tennessee has been a kind of death for us. Both of us know we will probably never live together again. And that is a real sadness and a real grief. The terrorists in my life are not Moslem, but legislators who would keep us apart for some kind of agenda, something they call principle that honestly eludes me. I think a lot of the people we know that will be left behind this year, some who don’t know if they will be back to fight next year and I just want to scream. I am afraid if I start I can not stop.

In the last couple of weeks Linda and I have maybe spent a days time together. It looks now like this week will be better and I am grateful for that. She has missed choir the last couple of times because of seizures and we both hope we will know music this week.

It is after 5 now and I need to try sleep again. I hope it will be a good day for you. I hope it is for us too.

Take very good care.

Good bless and thank you for these few minutes.


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