Desperation… On Linda and a bad space

You would think with lots of practice you get better with desperation but you really don’t.   At least I  haven’t.

Linda is in crisis right now.   Seizures are the worst they have been in 8-10 years… Then she ended up in Vanderbilt Hospital having a hundred complex partial seizures an hour (not a misprint)  and multiple grand mall per day.   Her doctor was a professor of neurology at Vanderbilt.   He said he had never seen anything like it in all his life.

We are not there yet but this is steadily getting worse.

I am not there all the time anymore and when she falls there is no one to catch her.   She has some really bad bruises.   A simple miracle there has not been a serious injury.   A for true,  for real miracle.

She is having a lot of dizzy spells.   She says the tinnitus is as bad as it has been in a long time.   Chronic unremitting pain. I don’t know where it is all coming from.

I called her neurologist this morning. He is on vacation. There is an on call guy but his office seemed to feel it was unlikely they would see her. I do not begin to understand why. Still waiting on phone call. Haven’t given up hope there yet. Have called primary care and waiting on call back. Not sure what to do past that.

Linda is terrified. She feels like this is not going to end well. Her phone is on its last legs and it will probably be July before we can get another. She is afraid I will be gone and she won’t even be able to call.

Right now just trying to stay focused and cover all the bases. We are no stranger to either tragedy or disaster and this feels really bad.

Forgive the rant. Sometimes all you can do is hope somebody is at the other end. We both really appreciate the prayers and support.

Thank you.

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