Based in part on an old post
I have always considered the hardest part about the light at the end of the tunnel to be finding the tunnel. And maybe after what seems a forever season in the dark maybe just maybe I have found the tunnel.
I have found it in a few notions:
Sorrow. I will always have a great deal of sorrow for what is lost. But sorrow need not always be in front of me. I think there is a sorrow for what is left behind that doesnt have to define what is ahead. I will deeply miss what is lost. But that sorrow need not define what it is possible to find.
Despite. I can go on despite bad things. The sun still shines. The world has not stopped. The things that are still important are still important. The things I care about are still worth my care. It is not annihilation. The reality of the hurt need not define the reality of the world. The things that make me laugh still make me laugh. There is still song and melody.
Okay. It is okay to feel bad because it is okay to feel. Be open to all feelings. Worship not one. And dont believe you are being disloyal to the hurt when you feel good. Feelings tell you they are all that is true, but that is not so. Have your feelings, but do not be had by them.
Because. Even the worst of times, the times that no one would ever want or ever like, have something to offer. Because of the injury you can discover things about yourself, about others, and about life that may be invaluable to the way you live today, tomorrow and the day after.
Grateful. Sometimes it is the loss of big things that teach you the importance of small things. Be excessively grateful. Treasure each gift, however small, however slight. It is the beginning of your rebellion against the trauma.
Share. Share your life with other people. Pain tells you are alone. Forever and forever alone. You are not. It is easier to find the gifts of people when you are a gift to people. Share.
Patience. Today is not forever. Neither is yesterday. There is a season of life. Sometimes waiting for better days is the hardest battle.
Honesty. Sometimes you just cant. Dont try to be what you cant or who you cant be. Do what you can. But be honest about what you cant.
Surprise. Sometimes good things come out of the worst things. Be open to surprise. It is not foolishness.
Recognize. Recognize better days. Everything does not stay the same. Figure out what makes things better and do them on purpose.
Strength. Fill your days with things good for you. Strength and capability make a difference. Trauma tells you that you are weak and at the mercy of cruelty and meanness. Find ways to increase your ability. Capability matters. Even when it doesnt make a difference now the time is coming when it will.
New. Sometimes hope dies and you must find new hope. Hope is more than anyone thing. It is more than anyone person. It is waiting to be found but it means you must look.
Doubt. Dont doubt your ability to make a difference for other people. Nothing has happened to make you less of a person. Perhaps your circumstances have been changed, maybe in awful ways. But you have no fewer gifts, no fewer worth than you did before.
Look. Look around. Lots of people are hurting. Some worse than you. Sometimes in seeing what others will never be able to do again you see what you are still able to do. Perspective is okay.
And when you find the tunnel and you will remember to keep walking. Maybe you will find me walking beside you.