What do you do when life is lousy, when events or situations overwhelm? What do you do when loss or threaten seem to be at the door and catastrophe a moment away. For most people I know life is hard and moments like these are too common and leave us feeling impotent and a mess.
What do you do?
The truth is I don’t know.
I can tell you what I try to do. Sometimes it helps and works incredibly well. Sometimes not. Sometimes maybe there maybe is no “to do”. You wait for the cycle of this emotion to subside and leave. What you dont feed in time dies and maybe “lousiness” is a little that way.
Here is my list.
Take danger or threat for real. Sometimes it is. There are bad people that do bad things.
Don’t apologize for loosing your perspective or your composure. Nothing to apologize for. Messy is the human condition. Everybody does. If you think you don’t then you need to work on self deception and lying.
You have survived a lot of lousy times. Even though it may not feel that way don’t doubt your ability to be resilient. Don’t assume the inevitability of failure.
As bad as it is what if it was worse? It could be? Be thankful for small victories even when they don’t feel like much. Sometimes they help you to find solid ground where you think there is not any.
When lousy is at it’s worst everything feels lousy, it feels like it will be lousy forever, and it feels like it is all about you. It is not about everything. That’s a lie that desperation tells us. You already know that. You have other times when everything seemed spoiled. It wasn’t then. It isn’t now. It is not about always. Things change. The only thing that doesn’t change is that. And everything is not about you. Everything is not about your fault, your ability or about others out to get you. Things are just the way they are. Perhaps it sounds strange but sometimes life is not personal.
Making it less awful may not make it less hard. Life has no cure. Despite what psychiatry tells you.
Be patient. There are no timetables. Feeling better is a process sometimes of small slow steps.
The best way to make things less awful is to invest in things, in relationships, in activities, in situations that make it less likely to stay bad. There are things that make life worse but there are things that make it better. Invest as wisely as you can.
Learn what you can. Not only know how it got lousy but how you left lousy. There will be another time.
Forgive yourself. Being human can be a hell of a burden.
I struggle everyday. Sometimes I lose.
Thanks God for tomorrow.