On hatred

I can’t do hatred…. Not because I don’t sometimes think it is warranted.   Not because I don’t think it is sometimes justified.

I can’t do hatred because I don’t believe in it.   I  can’t do hatred because I believe in it too much.

Donald Trump is much of what I despise in a human being.   Much of what passes for public policy or public positions leaves me appalled.   Reading the news often leaves me in a rage.   So many people seem to live with basic injustice as part of their daily experience.   I am not sure how not to be mad.

But hatred,  at least for me,  takes it a step more.   It involves me doing to them what I would not tolerate them doing to me.   It involves me believing they are what I call them and nothing more than what I call them.   It easily captures me.   It makes things make sense to me that don’t make sense.   It gives me permission that I neither need or want.   It makes things easy for me I don’t want to be easy. 

The other person may or may not deserve to be hated.   I deserve more than the hating.

It doesn’t mean I can’t be angry.   I will.

It doesn’t mean I can’t fight back.   I can.

It doesn’t mean I excuse the inexcusable.   I don’t.

It means I refuse to let myself be captured.   The hardest thing I know to believe is that even at their worst people are people.   It would be so much easier if they won’t.   Sometimes I wonder.

In a strange way it helps to live in  Tennessee.   Many people I know believe very differently than me.   Many come from similar experiences and still see things different than me.   People are people even at their worst.

I have known what it is like to be categorized,  to be labeled and to be dismissed and put down.   In so much as I can,  in so much as I  am aware I try everyday not to do that to other people.

Much of our public discussions seem to never go much past seeking destruction of each other.   I wonder if there is a solution down that road.   I am beginning to doubt that.   How can we ever find common path,  something we stand for if everything just confirms and intensifies how much we cannot stand each other?

I don’t know if any of this feels true for you.  It does for me.   It is not meant as a criticism of anyone else,  but a statement for me.   None of this is ever done.   I fight the same battle every day and sometimes I lose.

I think anger can be in the service of love.   I think it is best in the service of love.   I would prefer my life be more than what seems essential to destroy but also what seems essential to build.   I don’t know if any of this makes sense and I know some of these are gray lines at best.   Sometimes you can do only your best.

For today I will try not to buy into hate.   It seems such an easy,  almost common sense response right now.  I think we have a harder,  a much harder,  road to hoe.

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