These are some of the questions that I have been grappling with, sometimes with surprising results.
1. Are there things in my life that make it impossible for life to get better?
There are a bunch of things that make it hard, maybe very hard but I don’t know about impossible. I have better days. I have things that gratify me, support me, and challenge me. It is not impossible for things to get better because they do.
2. Am I effectively and in a committed fashion working on changing the things in the way?
These things vary in challenge and difficulty. Some of them are short term challenges. Some are lifelong. Some will change at all incrementally. Some not at all. It is important to know that the things that get in the way of life are actually life. Something is always in the way.
3. Can I survive the things that won’t change?
Part of it is in realizing what they are. Part of it is knowing that things I deeply, badly, with all my heart want to change if this is to be a just world and life better don’t have to change. Part of it is in knowing that most of the shoulds in my life are really rathers. Perhaps passionate rathers but still rathers. And a large part is in realizing my ability to survive and go past those things that would hold me down. Part of it is in knowing, believing and celebrating my resilency.
4. If life can get better whatever my circumstances an I doing the things that make better days better days?
There is a difference in better days and worse days. Part of that difference is in things I do or don’t do. The momentum of life matters. To what extent am I trying to take care of myself? To what extent am I doing things that make me stronger and more capable? To what extent do I do things to make and maintain my relationships with other people? To what extent do I invest in things important and valuable to me?
My life over the last year in particular seems to be crisis after crisis. These questions are part of my effort to find a better road.